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Kenya N. Rahmaan
Fatherlessness has been a topic frequently discussed over the past decades. When proponents of ending fatherlessness in America discuss tackling the problem, most reference the same document when identifying a timeline for when the alleged crisis began. The now-famous (or infamous, depending on you ask) report entitled The Negro Family: The Case For National Action is a document written by then-Assistant Secretary of Labor Daniel Patrick Moynahan. Published in 1965 during the Lyndon B Johnson (LBJ) Administration, the leaked report discussed several observations by Moynahan. According to Moynahan (1965), fatherless nonwhite families increased by a sixth between 1950 and 1960 but held constant for white families. Since the leak, there seems to have always been a magnifying glass on fatherless statistics in Black communities.
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Over the years, the absent Black father has been a common stereotype. Many blame the desertion of African American fathers on welfare expansion by LBJ. Former candidate for California governor Larry Elder wrote that while the poverty rate changed, the relationship between poor men and women changed dramatically because our generous welfare system allows women to marry the government. While several factors besides the welfare system contributed to fathers being absent from the home, welfare is the most popular with Elder and numerous others when discussing fatherlessness in the Black community. As we have seen in the past week, NFL Hall of Famers and sitting U.S. Senators are not shielded from the absent Black father stereotype either.
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Former NFL Hall of Famer and Republican nominee for U.S. Senate Herschel Walker has been a trending topic since the media revealed that he has another child. Walker has been incredibly vocal against fatherlessness in the Black community, which led to the news of him providing child support, but being otherwise absent to his son is shocking to the nation. According to Roger Sollenberger from the Daily Beast (2022), while Walker sends Christmas and birthday presents, he has not played an active parental role in raising his second son. The mother must still confirm how active Walker has been over the past decade. https://thechildsupporthustle.com/the-moynihan-report-racist-then-racist-now/
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Since the initial revelation about Walker’s second son breaking, Walker has admitted to having a 13-year-old son and a 20-year-old daughter, according to Katie Balevic of The Business Insider (2022). Another buzzword often accompanied by absent Black fathers is out-of-wedlock births. Moreover, right on cue, the media included the term when discussing Walker and his newly found children. To be fair, Walker has made several disparaging remarks about fatherless children and the Black community. Walker delivered a statement that seemingly came back to bite him on the Charlie Kirk Show in 2020. Walker said the “fatherless home is a major, major problem in the Black community.” As the story unfolds, Walker will be better off if his children and their mothers confirm that they did not and do not live without a father.
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What is interesting is that Walker’s campaign manager, Scott Paradise, wants to defend him by accusing his opponent, Raphael U.S. Sen. Raphael Warnock, of having his own father issues. According to Sollenberger, Paradise said in a statement that:
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Raphael Warnock is currently engaged in both a nasty mudslinging campaign and a nasty custody dispute with his ex-wife. He is trying to hide it from voters by sealing the case and even tried to hide from authorities. This is a complete double standard.
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Warnock has indeed been going through a custody and child support dispute with his ex-wife, but the two circumstances are unparalleled. For starters, Warnock’s ex-wife, Oulèye Ndoye, is seeking changes in their child custody arrangement and claiming he is in “willful contempt” as she attempts to move outside Georgia (Greg Bluestein, 2022). When they divorced in 2020, the divorce judge ordered Warnock to pay child support for his two children, and in the current filings, his ex is seeking an increase in the amount. Interestingly, when Walker’s campaign manager spoke about the “nasty custody dispute,” he failed to mention that Warnock also paid child support for his children and co-parented with his ex-wife.
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Like Walker, Warnock does not owe any child support debt, but unlike Walker, Warnock’s ex is seeking a raise in child support. According to Alana Goodman (2022), Warnock’s ex accused him of neglecting visitation with their two young children and failing to pay childcare expenses. Ndoye, seeking permission from the judge to relocate their children to Massachussettes, complains that Warnock has been spending less time with their children due to his work as Senator. After obtaining court documents from the most recent proceedings, Goodman reported that:
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Ndoye accused Warnock of leaving her “financially strapped” by refusing to reimburse her for childcare expenses. She said Warnock also “routinely neglects” to give her notice when he is traveling out of town during his visitation days and instead has the children “picked up from school by friends and [leaves] them with various babysitters overnight” while he is away.
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Two critical takeaways from the Warnock case and his ex’s indictments exist. One is that while she alleges that he routinely neglects their children in numerous ways, including not informing her when he is out of town, she simultaneously demands money for childcare. Ndoye is seeking reimbursement for childcare costs she incurred when he was scheduled to be with the kids (Greg Bluestein, 2022). It seems that she wants him punished for working long hours and not being available for pickups, but she also wants to be paid for being a parent when he is unavailable, and their children need to be with her.
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Instead of Warnock facing punishment by his ex and maybe the judge by being held in contempt of court and condemned for working long hours for his children and the nation, they should applaud him. In another person’s eyes, and by definition, his children are fatherless, just like the newly discovered Walker children. The next issue is that Ndoye wants to relocate the Warnock children over 17 hours from their father so that she can attend a program at Harvard University. While it may be true that the Senator hires babysitters on his late nights at the office or that his travel schedule may be too unpredictable to call before he leaves town, the relocation guarantees less time with his children.
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There has been speculation from different media outlets that part of the divorce decree stipulates that neither parent can move out of Georgia with the children. Furthermore, since Ndoye is seeking permission to relocate, the contempt of court allegation against Warnock makes more sense. Moreover, because she will be a full-time student, more than likely earning little more than a stipend, the increase in child support will supplement the loss of income. If the judge grants the request and allows her to relocate with their children, Warnock will spend less time with them. The alleged fatherless crisis that so many people have waged a war of words against will have crept into Warnock’s life slowly but surely.
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Moreover, that is what Mr. Herschel Walker and many others dating back to the 1960s have been fighting to stop. Right? It seems that every time there is a discussion about fatherlessness, no matter who is talking, the problem always ends at the door of the Black community. Even with the recent mass shootings where most shooters were not Black, the conversation quickly shifted to fatherlessness in the Black community. There is a problem with children growing up without living fathers who are absent from their lives, but not for the reasons that most like to scream from their microphones.
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Parental alienation causes fatherlessness more than welfare or other barriers blamed on the purported fatherless crisis. According to Alan D. Blotcky and William Bernet (2021), alienating behavior refers to the intentional and purposeful maneuvers by one parent to sabotage and disrupt a child’s relationship with the other parent. In Warnock’s case, it is unclear whether he and the children are being, but there is a pattern that occurs when alienation may become an issue. Relocation can be a problem for both the children and the non-custodial when the custodial parent wants to damage the relationship. https://youtube.com/live/r3U9ntwrYRw
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Parental alienation is child abuse and leaves life-long damage to the victims. The consequences of severe parental alienation on children are well-documented: low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression, anxiety, lack of trust in others, substance abuse, and more (Alan D. Blotcky and William Bernet). In Walker’s case, he admits he has other children and has supported them in every way. Until the children or their mothers deny his statement, he deserves the benefit of the doubt that he was active.
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Source: Fulton County, Georgia Superior CourtBecause there has been a significant increase in children born to unmarried parents, particularly in the Black community, the proponents of the fatherless ‘crisis’ consider all of these children fatherless. Nevertheless, let us be clear that children are not fatherless because they are born out of wedlock. Additionally, children are not fatherless when they do not reside in the same household as their biological fathers. The problem with recklessly using a word is that when the word is necessary, it no longer holds its true meaning. There are genuinely fatherless children, whether by death or abandonment. By categorizing every child who does not live with their father as fatherless, we, as a nation, do a great disservice to children and their fathers. We must do better.
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References:
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p id=”a0″>Balevic, K. (2022, June 19). Herschel Walker says he ‘never denied’ any of his kids following revelation that he has four children. Business Insider. https://www.businessinsider.com/herschel-walker-says-he-never-denied-any-his-four-children-2022-6
Blotcky, A. D., & Bernet, W. (2021, December 18). Mental health practitioners confront a crisis in families: Parental alienation | Opinion. Tennessean.com. https://www.tennessean.com/story/opinion/2021/12/18/parental-alienations-negative-impact-children-divorce/8912074002/
Bluestein, G. (2022, April 2). Warnock’s ex-wife takes legal action over child custody. ajc. https://www.ajc.com/politics/warnocks-ex-wife-takes-legal-action-over-child-custody/UNI2QB7HQ5CVJMIIYSBGWD37FQ/
Goodman, A. (2022, April 5). Ex-wife accuses Warnock of neglecting children, failing to pay childcare expenses. Washington Free Beacon. https://freebeacon.com/democrats/ex-wife-accuses-warnock-of-neglecting-children-failing-to-pay-childcare-expenses/
In depth with Larry elder. (2022, August 7). C-SPAN.org. https://www.c-span.org/video/?521543-1/depth-larry-elder
Moynihan, D. P. (1965, March). The Negro family: The case for national action. DOL. https://www.dol.gov/general/aboutdol/history/webid-moynihan
Sollenberger, R. (2022, June 15). Herschel Walker says he’s a model dad. He has a secret son. The Daily Beast. https://www.thedailybeast.com/herschel-walker-says-hes-a-model-dad-he-has-a-secret-son
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