Kenya N. Rahmaan
Divide and conquer is one of the most effective strategies in any battle. The main reason for excluding gender from parental competence is that the results will differ no matter who is studied. For decades, the government, along with special interest groups, have focused on the adverse outcomes linked to children raised by single mothers and compared them with two-parent families. The statistics and aftermath have almost always resulted in abysmal results for the children.
Unfortunately, people have transferred those same statistics and swapped single fathers with two parents, assuming outcomes would be identical. That is a swap that is too costly to allow without clarification. Not only have there been no meaningful studies examining the differences between single-father and single-mother homes, but the limited data that researchers share needs to be more robust next to the decades of single-mother demography. For instance, YahooLife.com recently published an article discussing single parenthood and the lack of information about fathers raising their children solo.
Marissa Brown (2019) wrote that while many studies on single parenthood focus on the health and well-being of single mothers, there is not much data out there to look at on single fathers. The lack of data does not downgrade the father’s parenting skills. The missing data shows the outdated and biased custody guidelines in the US and worldwide. The focus must gravitate towards parental equality and not on which parent, depending on their sex.
Instead of comparing who is the better parent based on gender, Brown suggests that the powers that be make more resources available to single fathers like they are for single mothers. Research focusing on single mothers is damning as studies reveal a greater risk of mortality, poorer self-rated health and mental health, higher levels of psychological distress, and generally lower socio-economic status than partnered mothers. Again, the researchers did not use those characteristics possessed by single dads in comparison.
When searching a little deeper on the World Wide Web, Dr.Michelle Janning, Ph.D., whom Brown lets her readers know, is a professor of sociology at Whitman College in Walla Walla, Washington, and a board member of the Council on Contemporary Families. Dr. Janning states, “Scholars are good at comparing single moms to married moms and married people to single people, and moms to dads, But we’re not so good at comparing single moms to single dads.” The lack of data makes Jane’s claim of single fathers being better parents impossible to prove.
In fact, without empirical evidence, anyone can conduct any observations and contend that single fathers are not the best option for children. The mortality study that Brown was referencing occurred in 2018. Not only were the mortality rates of single mothers observed, but the researchers included and compared the same rates in single fathers, partnered fathers, and mothers. A study such as this is a perfect example of why unrelated observations cannot be applied as scientific evidence when scrutinizing better parenting attributes.
Lancet Public Heath (2018) determined that at the time of their study on single-parent mortality rates, there were approximately 2.6 million, 330,000, and 300,000 families in the United States, United Kingdom, and Canada, respectively, headed by single fathers. Mothers raising children alone have always been under the microscope for their shortcomings, with a particular focus on behavioral problems children may develop while being raised by lone moms. However, being classified as a single parent does not necessarily mean that the parent is raising children alone.
According to Stephanie Kramen of the Pew Research Center (2019), single-parent households have a sole adult living with at least one biological, step, or foster child under age 18. That is not to say that the child does not have an active parent who shares custody with the custodial parent or that other adults don’t live in the home and provide assistance with raising the child to adulthood; the US Census Bureau includes households that have grandparents, other relatives or cohabiting partners present (Kramen). But in a home with several adults, many would agree that a kinship family structure is a better description than a single-parent home.
Unfortunately, for the sake of politics, social posturing, collecting billions of dollars, or all of the above, the competition between parents based on gender continues. And what about the mortality study that observed single fathers only a few years ago? The results were not as favorable to fathers as many would have guessed. According to Lancet Public Health, after a median follow-up of 11 years, single fathers were more likely to die than partnered fathers and single mothers.
The fathers died earlier than the other subjects for several reasons. Single fathers were more likely to lead unhealthy lifestyles—they ate fewer fruits and vegetables and were more likely to binge drink than other parents (Lancet Public Health). It is essential to remember that studies are engaged in individuality, not gender identity. Despite how insistent MGTOW and feminists try to blame gender. The Lancet Public Health group and Dr. Janning note that single fatherhood is largely understudied. https://youtube.com/shorts/RXfUeiDNn7w
There are factors to consider before criticizing single parenthood, no matter who is raising the child(ren). First, most data on single-mother homes is compared to two-parent households. In that regard, two-parent families usually have more income and can provide more emotional resources to children (David G. Allan, 2023). When considering basic logic, one parent cannot compete with two working and at least one parent who can be physically and emotionally available at any time of the day or night.
Making sure that single mothers are blamed for producing society’s worst adults is not a new phenomenon. However, the details surrounding the history of the welfare state and the rise of single motherhood certainly are filled with misconceptions. For example, contrary to popular belief, as early as 1962, low-income mothers who applied for welfare programs were required to work in exchange for benefits. Because of the welfare-to-work mandate reestablishment in 1996, the government needed custodial parents, disproportionately mothers, to work low-paying jobs that took them out of the home and away from children over the age of six.
The work requirements combined with unmarried parents living apart meant children spent time alone. Circumstances and lack of opportunity may have decreased the financial and emotional availability for single mothers, not her gender. Recently, there has been a lack of fathers claiming responsibility for the problems with their children raised by single mothers. Nonetheless, the government is not innocent of the blame for the horrible shared parenting laws, biased family law courts, and lack of resources available for single fathers.
The lack of studies about single parents proves nothing about who is the better parent as a group. Consider the same 2018 mortality study, which showed that they died earlier because of their circumstances. The authors revealed that single fathers were also more likely to be widowed than single mothers, again pointing towards stress exposure and grief. Heavy drinking can be a reliever for grief and is not an indication of a character flaw of lousy parenting. However, there are no significant studies available because fathers are not awarded custody at the rate of mothers, which needs to be addressed and corrected around the globe.
Many father’s rights advocates and fathers alike have grown accustomed to sharing an article by Elicia Jane as proof that fathers are better parents than mothers. The viral article, ‘Single Father Homes Do Vastly Better Than Single Mothers- Here’s the Real Reason Why,’ was published in 2023 and sent fathers into a frenzy. Besides sharing the typical single mother statistics, Jane lets the readers know how she felt about the income disparities with single fathers courtesy of her child’s teacher. Jane explained why the income debate was unfitting when comparing single moms and dads not by statistics but by visiting her children’s expensive private school. Not only is the most shared and quoted article not proof of superior parenting skills possessed by the male species, but it needs to quote viable evidence to support its title.
In conclusion, whenever possible, children need access to both parents. Although most would agree that having two parents raising their children can yield the best outcome, nobody can predict the future. Likewise, no one can determine whether any father is better than any mother or vice versa without seeing the results. Children are people; as much as parents guide and teach them, they will eventually grow into their own person. Thousands of factors determine what type of parent someone will be, and while gender may play a role, it does not exclusively determine one species better than the other.
References:
Allan, D. G. (2023, August 8). Let us now praise single moms. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/14/health/single-mom-parenting-wellness/index.html
Brown, M. (2019, November 25). Single moms vs. single dads: Examining the double standards of single parenthood. Yahoo. Retrieved February 27, 2024, from https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/single-moms-vs-single-dads-215634518.html
Kramer, S. (2021, May 28). U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/12/12/u-s-children-more-likely-than-children-in-other-countries-to-live-with-just-one-parent/
The Lancet Public Health. (2018). Single fathers: Neglected, growing, and important. The Lancet Public Health, 3(3), e100. https://doi.org/10.1016/s2468-2667(18)30032-x
